(originally published July 31, 2010)
For a while now I have been thinking quite a bit about something. I feel like the further I travel in my Christian walk, the more of a sinner I see myself as. The more faults I see. The more clutter I see on the inside. I was talking to a friend about this not long ago; how we both can't help but recognize our human depravity.
Paul saw it too. Throughout his writings in the New Testament, we can see a progression of his insight into this.
1 Corinthians 15.9,
"For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God."
"To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given."
1 Timothy 1.16,
"But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life."
At first, he calls himself the least of the apostles. Alright. But then the least of the saints. Getting a bit broader. And the the worst of simmers. Still further.
I don't know why the closer we draw to God, the more of a sinner we might see ourselves? Perhaps it's because the closer we draw to Him, the more like Christ we become, and the more prevalent the flesh that is still there seems to become.
We want to rid ourselves of the flesh; therefore perhaps we see the reality of it effects? And to be clear, I'm not talking about focusing on our weaknesses, or belittling ourselves and value. I simply state an observation that the more like Christ we become...the more we desire to be like him...the more we strive to be less like ourselves.
Anyway, just some food for thought. But it's interesting, don't you think?