All the Feels // Overwhelmed
I've tried being superwoman and in my attempt, I have failed. In fact, I have failed terribly. Being the perfectionist that I am, I've then beat myself up over not being able to juggle it all with the finesse I determined to show. In my mind, I've diminished my value and purposed to fail in the aftermath.
FAILED. AT. ALL.
Just thinking about all the roles I play and the expectations I have for myself (not to mention others have for me) has left me incredibly overwhelmed over the years. I try so hard to juggle it all and do it flawlessly that I end up dropping balls and admonishing myself for doing so.
"I'm the worst mom; Roman deserves better."
"I'll never be the wife he really needs."
"I'm not as fun or available like she is; people probably like her better."
"I don't deserve the honor to serve these people. I'm a mess."
"I made a mistake; surely this will negatively affect my perception at work."
These are all thoughts I've truly had about myself. And just putting it out there for the world to see is both a huge bummer and slightly embarrassing. But hey, if there is one person out there who reads this and relates, and finds encouragement, then it's worth it to put it out there.
Do you ever feel overwhelmed to be all things to all people? To be perfect in your execution of each role? Me too. But let me offer some ease from the pressure:
YOU DON"T HAVE TO HAVE IT ALTOGETHER.
Now take a deep breath and let all of that tension go. Shake off the expectations to juggle with perfection. You won't ever be perfect so stop straining towards an unattainable goal.
But you know who is perfect? Jesus. And you know what that means for you? Freedom from perfection. And freedom from having to do anything on your own. In fact, God truly wants you to lean on Him and allow His strength to be made perfect in your weakness.
Here's a food for thought for your week:
When you are feeling the pressure to attain and maintain, turn to the One who holds the Universe together. He knows where your strength is best served. Where to turn. He knows your emotions in trying to manage it all. And He alone can take the burden off and carry it.
Want to live a flourishing life free from pressure? Turn towards the Father and He will show you where to go. That's a huge relief when feeling overwhelmed.